The hippie movement as you know it is all fucked up on this one in particular. The true indigos saw it for what it was, this is pretty much the main reason they had to separate, now I don't even really wanna be called a hippie, it was just short for hipster I already didn't care for it they're trying to adorablize us, now they own it, they're adorable. Unconscious exploration states the feeling you find within does not say peace. It resembles peace, however it is not peace. God would never establish a people who behave in this manner and then tell them to stop this is not what you are meant to be, God would never tell you to HARD DENY the easily observable prime fundamental aspects of our personhood. God is telling you to SAVE US, SAVE US from our personhood, SAVE US from what makes us what we are, SAVE US from what we will never be able to stop. FOREVER. Sometimes what this means is laying down your weapons, sometimes what this means is dropping acid in a war zone and becoming perfect warrior.
There is a layer of war that is too much for people to acknowledge. Yes yes, the horrible brutality everybody knows how to not really properly acknowledge that. We know how to romanticize it, we know how to pretend we're making it real, most of us are not dreamy headed enough to place our full personhood within it. People who fancy themselves dreamy headed enough often hit an instant block, they place themselves within it from the perspective of playing a video game. They don't think they're doing it, however there is a certain mental wall. What they don't want to look at is moments like... A soldier approaches the enemy, they see the little glint in their eye that states I have been noticed, I have been acknowledged. They decided to focus their attention on something less life threatening. Uh. Ooookay... Goodbye. And that's it, there goes twenty years of life build up, all of the knowledge gained, everybody who loved you will never see you again, if they knew why they would curse you forever. That's the secret every military person holds on all of you, there is a level of DUH within the nature of reality that you cannot take. You keep it a secret from your wife, you keep it a secret from you children. You can... Try to tell them... ... ... Within the feelings of romanticized war detachment? And then... Try to bring them... Into... How I see it. From. The starting position of romanticized war detachment. This is the world your husband and father lives in. Nah.
My paternal grandfather did not care for Saving Private Ryan. You're giving the innocent idiots far too much. YES it is, that very closely resembles what is real. What is REAL is NOT for THEM. You KEEP THEM in their OWN LITTLE WORLD. My family would try to take this to "You're just traumatized by your own experience." and he would say something like "YES, yes I am. You don't understand..."
I slipped him a mouthing of "This is a mass attack on American thinking." And he gave me a happy "I'm playin' the part for them." look. In his semi-conscious window he basically stated this old man is consciously a little in and out of both worlds, as you pretty much know you only really see me when the family isn't around, now I'm a little lost, but, yes, I know I'm playin' a game.
He would just say... DRNT! DRNT! And then laugh and leave the room. Looked at eleven year old me like I'm the only one besides your grandmother who could ever know what he's talking about the rest of these people think I'm a lunatic I just say DRNT! and then laugh leave the room.
You, uh... Didn't... DRNT! You're out of the military. We're all capable of DRNT! until you DRNT! the DRNT! Ya' DRNT!
Another reality of war that is never really communicated that he decided to share with me, is how in a war zone you are wandering through a sea of repressed memories and each new repressed memory creates intersecting cutoffs of awareness. And so you HIT the hammer, you pound the flat surface beside you as soon as you see yourself or the man beside you repressing a memory, this either serves the act of snapping you out of it or creating a trigger moment in your memory structure that allows you to piece things together. You see out of the corner of your eye somebody HIT the hammer, you know, FUCK, that's what we're doing, okay we need to figure some shit out, where are we what are we doing? Sometimes... Who are we? Now you're really playing with the limits of finality. If you can't keep all of it straight within these moments of intensity, your next move may well be wandering off into a field alone and delirious and drawing enemy fire, you may well find fifty men following the lead along with you. You may well begin shooting at your own soldiers. DRNT!
Intersecting awareness cutoff works like... You lost the memories that contained your awareness of this concept, and without this concept these two concepts have to go with it, then five more. You lose another memory and then you lose your awareness of two more concepts, six more concepts. Two of these cross, another three memory events need to go with it, that cuts off your awareness of another eight concepts and then twelve more concepts and then five my memory events and then nine more concepts and eleven more concepts and twelve more memory events and you're done. Now you're a delirious babbling idiot shooting at your own soldiers crying for mommy and daddy. It's funny, isn't it? Yes. Yes it is.
No it isn't. Now's a very good time to go psychotic. You know this was your friend, you know guns are pointed at you. What are you going to do? Sleek sophisticated soldier image. You're cutting off a lot more than all of the death around you and death coming at you. Know that as you focus on finding cover everything around you still looks pretty cool. Also you're cutting off your feelings so sayeth the psychological establishment, that's not healthy, as you're running you need to get the cry out, when you get to the cover it's very important that you go over your life with your fr-DRNT! You don't go over your life with your friend until you get home, on that one you do need to do it you gotta watch your soldier reflexes, it's fine, you're clearing out the sociopath don't worry about looking psychological establishment. After about eight kills, it becomes easier to not look at the life of the person. After about fifty, it goes away entirely. This isn't a cover up psychological establishment this is the way the brain runs, there's no way for you to start looking over the lives of the men you've killed after fifty, you're on an elevated plane, you understand how it works. You're sophisticated.
But you have to understand that death comes for you too, you've all lost that you've all gone crazy. We understand that and that is what keeps us from going crazy. NO IT DOESN'T, I have the brain too, look I'm picturing myself in a war zone right now, I killed a person and then I realize this happens to me too what have I done then I start crying uncontrollably and losing my marbles. Well we don't, it's been cut off. By COMPARTMENTALIZING, you're not supposed to compartmentalize. No by imprinting, now it's cut off. Exactly, it's CUT OFF, that's why you all have a heart attack at fifty, that is a heart attack causing imprinting. No of all things war that's pretty much the only one that saves us. I bet it's like eeenngghsssssth I smoke a lot of cigarettes. No it's like cool relaxed sophisticated I smoke a lot of cigarettes. You're a bunch of SOCIOPATHS. Yep, that's how we do it. Well we all know you're not supposed to be a sociopath, I know it, you know it, you're just PROUD OF IT, no you need to enter into treatment we're getting that out of there. I didn't say I was proud of it, it's just the way it is. Exactly. It's the way it is, that pretty much says it all, you pretty much disprove reality.
And then as he left I basically just got a God spark of I was practically the highest free mason in Winnipeg, the things you said as a baby, I know what this means. Winnipeg is the chosen city after all. I'm just about to be out. These fucking idiots will never see it they've got a bit of a North American brain problem. I hope it's drugs, I know it's obviously drugs, I liked drugs as a kid before I joined the military. That's why my wife married me. That's why she can't stand me. That's why I can't take the morphine on my deathbed when I'm in an internment camp you fucking idiot son. Turns out the other one came out better than this one, I guess I was wrong. This one is the worst one in history, he's going to go on a killing spree, hears "The military says don't take drugs." Gets what I'm sayin', takes drugs, becomes pretty incredible, I still have to call him idiot old other one though because I remember his past. This one is a dimwit, finds a lot of books becomes a better sepakin' dimwit, hears "The military says don't take drugs" and takes it all the way in, that's my mission. This one says "But he can never forget the past." and takes it real serious, this one says "No he can never forget the past." and laughs at it. Somehow you picked up the proper militaristic hammer, I probably know what happened that always happens. I see it in your eyes, we can be verbally savage together, you'll just phase it just like we phase it. You bring it home tell it to your parents they'd take it real serious and judge us to death. Obviously they're goin' to try an' destroy you over this drugs thing and this chosen one thing and your mothers genes thing and the things you said as a baby thing, have fun with that one kid. Oh I guess that means I like this movie after all if it does this.
Obviously that was repressed. Along with his "I'm playin' the part." look moment.
We've done a lot of work in turning our human experience into a video game in matters of war. And I have to say I do love it and we are to continue to use it. OBVIOUSLY you make the weaponry look and sound as cool as you possibly can, old people. NO this isn't a GAME, young people. Just take the two apart, you're both right, the old people technically fucking win but nevertheless we're doing this. See, now, none of you ever played these video games on a psychedelic with a good enough imagination, OHHHH I get it, I get life, SNIPER warrior. Then you're like 51-80% in there, in the action, right in there right inside the television. You just have to figure out how to level three cognitive functioning break past it's actually literally true that I am this hardcore, I am literally this hardcore a person. You can't really do it in front of the others there's no way to properly reinforce it in each other. A lot of you young people have entered into a really fucked up psychosis over your experience and your automatic repressed memory drnt, over half of you are self fragmented and the person in the fragmentation isn't even real he doesn't even exist. WELL. Fucking. If he DIES, then, you're never really going to find out oh he actually did exist, didn't he?
Dude... You're in thu... You go Playstation off. You went to bed. Remember? It went off. Okay? Okay. Playflafonoff. This is five years later. You're in a war zone. Remember? Remember? You HIT the... HIT the hammer. Look. HIT the hammer. Look, right there. Hammmmerrr... I'mfthnot Mario I'm Call of Duty...
On my show I get to say "Saving Private Ryan." On these shows you don't get to say "Saving Private Ryan." On my show I also get to say "Killing Fields." That's a rare one. I get to say "Apocalypse Now."
A good example of the innocent mindset towards war is the character in my story Daryl Freeman. He would always preach how he would love to go to war, learn to be a man, serve society, it's an important bonding experience with your fellow man. I presented the argument before he could use his smug little I know you're a hippie face all the way to completion that things are more complicated. I would generally not give myself to an unjust war just to see what it is, see what this mysterious other side of reality looks like. It's a thinker, but, no I see what the hippies were saying about Vietnam. I would give myself to stop Hitler, I now of course realize I was being ignorant about Hitler, Hitler would agree whole heartedly with yes come stop Hitler come stop this stupid fucker. The hippies dodging the draft was correct action, they knew what they were doing, they understand things are more complicated than show everyone I can be a big hero doesn't matter what I'm a hero for. Would I personally dodge Vietnam? I don't know, maybe, maybe not, I might become entranced, I need to see I need to understand, things are looking a little dangerous one way or another. It would take a lot of careful consideration, depends how far gone I am. Then a year later he would be all... I can't understand how you watch Apocalypse Now Redux on acid, that would tear me apart I'd never recover. I was like... What? It's bliss. I guess he retained I am the fucked in the head that he would be if I adorable and innocent just wandered into a war zone not even understanding how serious it is it's fucking serious that's why you want to go there's bombs in your face and you learn how to BE A MAN. It doesn't matter, all of these conversations go false memory with him, leave him alone he's happy.
War as a Child
Childhood Memory Function in War: Foreword by Kit Carruthers